beyond the tip of your nose.

a random thought just struck me. we know nothing about our lives; yet we spend a good chunk of them trying to plan life out. i was looking back at some things that were such a huge part of my life, and now- just memories. how can something we used to know so well become something we don't know at all. how many years do we waste formulating how it will be when we are five, 13, sixteen...graduating....dating...getting married..and for us the biggest one- having kids. i was thinking back on some of my plans. wow- if some of the things i planned had come true...my story would have a different name. i would have no idea about the joy that comes from emma needing to always hold my hand. even if it is for a 2 step walk down the hallway. when i was 16, i had no idea that lauren's laugh would make me smile to think about. i didn't know to think about 4 girls calling "mommy" a million times a day. funny, because i could swear i knew it all! none of the things that i thought would happen, happened. the stick band that my childhood best friend and i dreamed up never came to fruition either. luckily, we only focused on that plan for 1 lazy, summer day. i certainly know that God has THE plan for my life, for everyone's life........yet think about all the plans that we try to manipulate for years. more than once i have looked back at my life, the way i intended it to go and thought; "i bet i gave God a good chuckle over that one. or maybe He is thinking, "so help me child...you just do not get it." so when our sight is so short and our grip on the future is so weak...why do we keep trying? why does it feel like we have such a big life picture to paint and we are the only painters to do it? i have no idea what is around the bend for my girls. i make myself crazy thinking about all of the things i need to protect them from..will they listen when i tell them that guy is a bad choice...you dont want to move that far from your loving mother, etc. will they even hear it? lauren cannot even hear me call her for dinner, which may tell me it doesn't look good. i know that their choices willplay a part in their shaping--but oh, if i could protect them from the parts that will make them look back and wince. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord...." Maybe it would be helpful if they put the "I" in bold. to remind us there is a difference b/t our plans and His. and praise God that there is!! i had no idea what was up ahead for me. i have no idea what is around the corner. but i am glad that someone does and that He throws all that grace and joy down into my life...even on the days i forget and think that i am still in the lead.